I've lived in Provo, Utah for almost eight years now,
EIGHT YEARS! Wow.
Ever since I moved here, I've been quick to let everyone know that
living here was not a permanent solution and that I would never become a Utahn
and would definitely not be raising my children here. At first my excuse was the weather,
but I now actually like the weather for the most part. Slowly, Utah has gotten to
me and I hesitantly admit that I now LOVE it here.
Admittedly now, my only strong argument is that my family and a few old friends
live somewhere else. I want them here or I want to be there and that's that.
I don't like having a son that doesn't live by his cousins or grandparents or
aunts and uncles. I don't like missing out on small quiet backyard barbeques
and swim parties and beach camping vacations and meaningful conversations on the couch
and lazy afternoons that never seem to end. I don't like missing soccer games
and piano recitals and graduations and first dates and birthday parties
and baptisms and blessings and hospital visits to new babies.
I want to be close, I really do.
And I want you to be close to us,
actually I would RATHER you be here than I be there.
The weather is better (sometimes), the traffic is definitely better, the people are
generally nicer, the air is cleaner, the mountains are bigger, the economy is better,
jobs are stronger, and food, houses, gas, etc etc etc are ALL cheaper.
That said,
This is where we need to be and I feel it now stronger than ever.
As David and I were discussing how blessed we were to find and buy our house recently,
I felt overcome with the love that my Savior has for me and unmistakeably
I felt Him say that we are here because this is where He wants us to be.
I don't know why and I don't know how long, but David and I
both feel that this is where we need to be.
And sometimes it kills me.
But as soon as I remember that my will and my life is the only thing that I have
to give to my Savior Jesus Christ, and it is the only thing He has ever asked of me,
then I find strength.
Everything I am and everything I have
ever been is because of Him.
Every choice I make is rooted in my love for Jesus Christ
and EVERY SINGLE blessing I have ever received is from Him,
because he loves me.
He led me to BYU where I found David, He kept me in faith waiting for David,
He led us to this home, and He brought about so many miracles to ensure
that we buy THIS specific home.
We love our neighborhood, we love our ward, and we love our friends here.
And I KNOW, I KNOW without a doubt that
as we continue to trust Him, that He WILL continue to guide us
and unfold miraculous blessings all around us
because this life of mine, this life that He has chosen for me,
has SO FAR SURPASSED all expectations I have ever had for myself
and every time I try to hold Him back and do things my way,
He always blows me away by showing me what amazing things
I would have missed if I hadn't stopped and let go.
So that's why we're still in Provo, and in all honesty,
I really don't know how long we'll be here or where we will go next.
Jesus Christ lives.
He is the Son of God and I thank my Heavenly Father
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
that He sent His son to atone for my sins.
I am SO grateful that He is guiding my life and that He is in charge, instead of me.
EIGHT YEARS! Wow.
Ever since I moved here, I've been quick to let everyone know that
living here was not a permanent solution and that I would never become a Utahn
and would definitely not be raising my children here. At first my excuse was the weather,
but I now actually like the weather for the most part. Slowly, Utah has gotten to
me and I hesitantly admit that I now LOVE it here.
Admittedly now, my only strong argument is that my family and a few old friends
live somewhere else. I want them here or I want to be there and that's that.
I don't like having a son that doesn't live by his cousins or grandparents or
aunts and uncles. I don't like missing out on small quiet backyard barbeques
and swim parties and beach camping vacations and meaningful conversations on the couch
and lazy afternoons that never seem to end. I don't like missing soccer games
and piano recitals and graduations and first dates and birthday parties
and baptisms and blessings and hospital visits to new babies.
I want to be close, I really do.
And I want you to be close to us,
actually I would RATHER you be here than I be there.
The weather is better (sometimes), the traffic is definitely better, the people are
generally nicer, the air is cleaner, the mountains are bigger, the economy is better,
jobs are stronger, and food, houses, gas, etc etc etc are ALL cheaper.
That said,
This is where we need to be and I feel it now stronger than ever.
As David and I were discussing how blessed we were to find and buy our house recently,
I felt overcome with the love that my Savior has for me and unmistakeably
I felt Him say that we are here because this is where He wants us to be.
I don't know why and I don't know how long, but David and I
both feel that this is where we need to be.
And sometimes it kills me.
But as soon as I remember that my will and my life is the only thing that I have
to give to my Savior Jesus Christ, and it is the only thing He has ever asked of me,
then I find strength.
Everything I am and everything I have
ever been is because of Him.
Every choice I make is rooted in my love for Jesus Christ
and EVERY SINGLE blessing I have ever received is from Him,
because he loves me.
He led me to BYU where I found David, He kept me in faith waiting for David,
He led us to this home, and He brought about so many miracles to ensure
that we buy THIS specific home.
We love our neighborhood, we love our ward, and we love our friends here.
And I KNOW, I KNOW without a doubt that
as we continue to trust Him, that He WILL continue to guide us
and unfold miraculous blessings all around us
because this life of mine, this life that He has chosen for me,
has SO FAR SURPASSED all expectations I have ever had for myself
and every time I try to hold Him back and do things my way,
He always blows me away by showing me what amazing things
I would have missed if I hadn't stopped and let go.
So that's why we're still in Provo, and in all honesty,
I really don't know how long we'll be here or where we will go next.
Jesus Christ lives.
He is the Son of God and I thank my Heavenly Father
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
that He sent His son to atone for my sins.
I am SO grateful that He is guiding my life and that He is in charge, instead of me.
